The last time I posted back in 2014, I talked about not really knowing anyone here in the city. As a middle-aged mom with an empty nest in a city of millions, and in the dead of one of the coldest winters in decades, meeting people was a little difficult – to put it lightly. But as the weather warmed up, and I ventured out, I started to connect with other people, and since that time I’m happy to report that I have met so many wonderful people and have added such meaningful relationships to my life. Making new friends is hard at any stage of life. It requires a person to be willing to take some risks. Yes, in some cases you might get hurt, but I have found that more often than not, the energy you put out into the world is what will make its way back to you. If you find yourself feeling alone and in need of friends, the best advice I can give is to start by being friendly to others. Be willing to try new things and strike up conversations with people around you. As human beings, we are wired to desire connections with others. Just a smile or a warm greeting could be enough to spark new friendships. Also…offering s’mores….that will definitely help foster lasting friendships. But more on that another time!
Author: Kimberly Frey
I am a coach and consultant who provides customized coaching experiences for adults, special education advocacy for families, and inclusivity training and consulting for workplaces.
I’m Back!
So, it’s been awhile since I was last on this site. Five years to be exact. It is amazing how true the saying is that, “the days go by slow, but the years go by fast.” When I first moved back home to Chicago, my intent was to continue sharing my experiences as a teacher, mother, runner, and woman in today’s society. However, over time, I felt that blogging under the name “pseducator” (public school educator) wasn’t genuine since I was not teaching in a public school at the time. I thought about creating a new blog, but to be honest, life got in the way, and I never got around to it. So, here I am, back in the public education sector, and ready to muse about all that life has to offer. Since I last wrote you, so much has happened in my life and the world itself. To be honest, many times when I would be out running, I would craft a new blog post in my mind and think about getting on here to write it. I apologize that I never did, but I look forward to all that we have to discuss. If you were a previous follower of this blog, welcome back! If you are new to this site, welcome! Let this be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. I’ll talk to you soon.
So Much to Say (sorry, DMB)
I must admit – since the last time I actually wrote, there have been many times when I’ve started a new blog post in my mind (usually while running or when reading something interesting while on my commute to work). Unfortunately, I didn’t sit and actually write them. That is definitely something I am going to work on improving over the course of this year. The whole reason I started this blog is because I have a lot to say, but it doesn’t do much good if I don’t actually take the time to say it.
Having gotten that off my chest, there is so much going on right now. Winter is fading, spring break is four days away (along with a trip to Florida), my son is officially living here (and just got a job!), I’m running strong again (outside!)…the list could go on. It’s hard to believe I’ve already been back in the city for almost nine months. Every day, I wake up at peace with my decision to move up here- even though I miss my Florida friends and family dearly. I still haven’t met a lot of people outside of my co-workers, but with the weather warming up, I’m looking forward to being out and about in the city and having more opportunities to strike up friendships. While my work is emotionally exhausting at times, I love my students and the adults who work alongside me. I am loving my life and want to help others do the same. So excuse me for being all over the place with this post. I promise I’ll be more on-topic in the future, or at least stick to one topic. For now, to borrow from my absolute favorite band yet again – “Celebrate we will, because life is sweet but short for certain.” (Dave Matthews Band for those who aren’t in the know)
Back at the Races
Yesterday I had the privilege to run in my first race since moving to the city seven months ago. It was unique in that it was a single loop course, completely indoors. Yep, you read that right. Inside. It was held inside McCormick Place Convention Center. Although it might not have been the most scenic course, it sure felt good to be out there again. Since this is my first winter as a runner, I don’t have a lot of cold weather running gear (although I’m starting to build up a collection). Plus, this has been the coldest winter in Chicago since…. Well…. Right before I moved to Florida. Apparently, this polar vortex is all my fault. Anyway, I’ve spent the majority of the winter running indoors (ugh!) on an elliptical (double ugh!). Since I’ve been focusing on getting my back strong and healthy again, I’ve been using the elliptical for cardio to lessen the impact on my body. I can say that it’s paid off. I ran the whole course without the run/walk intervals I had been using the last couple of years. I actually completed the course with a much better time than I thought I would. Of course, I also finished the course thinking about what I could’ve done differently to be just a little bit faster. And that’s why I love this sport. It pushes me to be better and not just physically. It forces me to not be complacent. It stretches me to reach my full potential. It encourages me to be the best me possible. Run on, my friends.
Thanks, Matt Damon
In a recent blog post for The Washington Post, Valerie Strauss discusses actor Matt Damon’s most recent defense of teachers. Damon has had a history of speaking out on behalf of educators in America. I had the privilege of being at the 2011 Save Our Schools rally in Washington D.C. when he gave an impassioned speech defending teachers and attacking the current trends that are threatening public education today. In that speech, he mentioned “corporate reformers” who had never taught a day in their lives making decisions about what happens in classrooms across the country. In his most recent speech, he states, “I’ve always believed that they have to invite teachers into the discussion to help design policy. We would never let business men design warheads, why would you cut out educators when you’re designing education policy?” This is approximately the same question I ask consistently, to anyone who will listen. This is the same question that the American public needs to start asking as well. And not just who is guiding educational policy, but why? Why are wealthy private citizens and corporations trying (and often succeeding) to shape the future of public education? Why are they so determined to paint teachers as money-hungry, over-compensated, and only in education because it is a cush job? Have any of them ever spent a day with a room full of 5 year olds? Or adolescent, hormonal middle schoolers? I dare any of them to live a teacher’s life for one week. However, until the American public stands up for public education, these private entities will continue to yield an unreasonable amount of power and influence. After all, education is funded by public dollars, politicians determine where public dollars get spent, and private corporations bankroll politicians’ careers. In the meantime though, I do appreciate Matt Damon’s efforts on our behalf.
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Save Our Schools
Winter Musings
So, one would think that, after almost 30 years living in the Sunshine State, I would hate winter. Before I moved up here, I was very honest about the fact that I wasn’t looking forward to living in freezing cold again. However, as I sit in the middle of one of the coldest winters in Chicago’s recent history, I must admit – I’m loving it. I love the feeling of serenity that winter has brought into my life. I love the sound of snow crunching under my feet as I walk. I love the crisp air, sunrises over a half-frozen lake, and the ice floating in the Chicago River. Don’t get me wrong, these negative temperatures are pretty brutal. Yet, it really does make me appreciate the sun and its warmth so much more. After a couple of days with temperatures in the single digits or less, those 25-30 degree days are just perfect. Of course, I’m sure a large part of my enjoyment comes from two things. the first is that I live in an apartment building so I don’t have to shovel sidewalks. The second is that I have chosen to not drive since moving up here, so I’m not navigating a car on dangerous roads. Whatever the reasons are, my first winter back in the Windy City has been a rejuvenating affair. Good thing, since I still have at least two months to go until spring.
What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness.
-John Steinbeck
Remembering Dr. King
Every year in January, our country pauses to reflect on the life of one man. Dr. King was an inspiration to so many, and his legacy continues to this day. He told the world that he had a dream, but he also sacrificed so much to help make that dream come to pass. I’m afraid that that part of his message has been lost to so many in our current times.
I have seen the poison of laziness first-hand. Students want good grades without doing the required work, parents want well-behaved children without having to do the difficult job of setting limits for them, and many in society just want the rewards of hard work without actually having to do the hard work. Dr. King consistently spoke of a person’s moral obligation to do something. Speak out against hatred, work towards a goal, seek out knowledge. Those who want to blame the government, society, their family, or any other outside influence for their lack of fulfillment must realize that ultimately they are responsible for their lives. The road is not easy, and sometimes it treks through some pretty deep wilderness, but it is there for those who seek it.
As we honor the life of Dr. King today, let us follow his example and work to make our world, our communities, and in the end – ourselves the absolute best.
“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
Hello, Again!
Happy New Year, everyone! Wow! It has been a long time since I last wrote, and for that I apologize. Shortly after my last post, I moved into my own apartment and proceeded to spend the next week in the hospital. I didn’t have Internet in my new place until right before the holidays, and well… You know how the holidays go. So, here I am, four months later, finally ready to continue blogging. There is so much to discuss I’m not even sure where to start, but I think I will start with the most bittersweet: birthdays.
As I write this, there have been two major birthday milestones in my family. My daughter turned 21 in September, and I turned 40 in November. On top of that, my son is turning 19 tomorrow, and it’s his first birthday for which I haven’t been there. It also marks the last year that I can say I have a teenager. So, yes – the birthdays are bittersweet this time around.
For my daughter’s 21st birthday, she came over to the city with a friend of hers. My best friend flew up for the night, and together with my brothers we danced the night away. It is a memory I will always treasure. I love that my daughter is getting to the age where, while she is still “my child,” she is also becoming “my friend.”
As for that whole turning 40 thing, I really am okay with it. Looking back on my life so far, I have accomplished the goals that I have set for myself up until this point. Yes, there have been struggles along the way, but I am very proud of what I have accomplished so far. I am also very excited about what my future holds. I have a whole new list of goals to accomplish for the second half of my life (more on that another time). It was weird spending my birthday with my mom and brothers and without either of my children or any of my friends, but on a positive note – since I am a Thanksgiving baby I was able to celebrate with them only a couple of days later. Therefore, I will now have the best of both worlds for my birthday!
Funny enough, the toughest birthday of the three is definitely my son’s. This will be his last year as a teenager, and I’m having difficulty processing that. My son is an almost-grown man, even though I feel like it was just yesterday that he was my little boy. I must admit, if there was ever a moment where I could freeze time, this would be it.
Speaking of birthdays, it is almost midnight in Florida. I am off to tell my son happy birthday. I promise I won’t leave you hanging for another four months!
Wake the Sleeping Giant
I know, I know, it’s been a long time since I last wrote. I hope all of you with school-aged children have had a great start to your year. The first week of school is always a blur. There are new teachers to meet, students’ names to be learned, and all the ins and outs of classroom rules and procedures. This is the first year in quite some time that I am not teaching in a high school. While there have been some minor adjustments to my new position, I have to say that I couldn’t be happier. Unfortunately, I know many of my colleagues around the country do not share my same level of happiness. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not because of the kids. In fact, the kids are the only reason why my peers continue to do their jobs day after day. However, forces outside of the classroom continue to eat away at the teaching profession and public education in general. Schools are closing, teachers are either being let go or leaving the profession, and recruiting quality candidates to join the profession becomes more and more difficult. Perhaps the only good news to come out of all this bad news is that people are finally starting to take notice. Just today, I read an article describing how the actions of thousands of college students forced Sallie Mae to cancel its ALEC membership. If you don’t know who ALEC is, you definitely should find out. ALEC stands for American Legislative Exchange Council. When you visit their website, you will read how they support limited government, free market enterprise, and federalism. Sounds great, right? Beware of the wolf in sheep’s clothing. ALEC has continuously lobbied for and funded campaigns in support of charter schools, voucher programs, and for-profit colleges (just to name a few). They don’t want to strengthen the foundation of our democracy; they want to erode its very core. An uneducated public is easily controlled. But don’t just take my word for it. Go out and be informed. Be involved. Be the change.
Back to School Advice for Parents
Because I had my children so young, my friends all have kids that are still in elementary school. I am often asked for advice on school-related issues since 1) I am a teacher and 2) I have already “been there, done that.” So, in honor of the beginning of a new school year, here is my list of top 5 things parents of school-aged children should know:
1) Be Involved. Research has proven time and time again that the most successful children in school have parents who are involved in their education. Go to Open House, PTA meetings, and attend Parent Conference night – even if your child is doing well. If your child’s teacher has a website, visit it often. Know what the homework is and assist when necessary (which is completely different from doing it for them.) If possible, volunteer in your child’s classroom. I promise you, there is always something that the teacher can have you do. Since I was a teacher for most of my children’s educational careers, I would use my personal days to spend time at their schools. Even an hour of your time would be greatly appreciated.
2) Be supportive. Make sure your child understands that you and the teacher are on the same side. If you have concerns about anything involving the classroom or school, contact the teacher immediately. Little issues become major problems when they aren’t resolved right away. However, that doesn’t mean that you should belittle or undermine your child’s teacher in front of her. Your child won’t respect her teacher if she feels that you don’t.
3) Be responsible. If you drive/walk with your child to school, get him there on time (and pick him up when you’re supposed to). Pay attention to the notes that are sent home, emails and newsletters that are distributed, and the school website. Read the school marquee and listen to the voicemails that get sent out. Your child will follow your example. If you demonstrate that school isn’t important by your actions, that’s what they will grow up to believe.
4) Be inquisitive. Ask your child about her day. Find out what she is reading and learning. Demonstrate a true interest when she tells you. Praise her when she does well on an assignment, and ask questions when she doesn’t. Ask her what she did well and what she needs to work on. Ask about the art projects, music classes, and PE activities as well. Find out everything you can. It will help foster a strong relationship with your child, plus it gives you the foundation for the first three principles mentioned.
5) Be appreciative. Let your child’s teachers know how much you appreciate them – and not just during Teacher Appreciation Week. You would be amazed at how much a small note or quick email can brighten a teacher’s day (I speak from experience). In these turbulent times for education, the teachers that are still in the trenches do it for their love of the children they teach. Your children. The same children who you couldn’t wait to get out of the house and back into school at the end of the summer.
“Teachers teach because they care. Teaching young people is what they do best. It requires long hours, patience, and care.”
–Horace Mann
Words from the Long Run 