Category: Parenting

The Beginning of the End…and the End of the Beginning

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

Although it seems as if school has ended for everyone, the district where I teach still has another week to go. The last day for students is next Thursday, the 20th. For teachers? Well, we have not only Friday the 21st to go, but also Monday the 24th. However, it is close enough to the end of this year to finally feel it is the right time for reflection.

This year was one of major changes for me professionally. It was my first year in a new role and with a new district. I had to learn all new systems – and am still learning them. I had to get to know new administrators and teaching staff, and also learn how I fit into this organization. It was my first time not having my own classroom or a home room of my own students, but instead being a part of multiple classrooms and working with a variety of students in all grade levels. It was a year where I often felt I didn’t quite fit in, even though I was serving in exactly the role I wanted for myself. I was no longer a classroom teacher in the traditional sense, but I also was not technically an administrator. It has been a year of challenging myself in new ways and identifying new goals. On top of that, as I shared with readers in a previous blog, this past year was one of great loss and deep grief. Managing all of these obstacles has been hard, but I’ve made it. This is just the beginning of this chapter of my life, so I look forward to how the rest of the story will play out.

For all my fellow educators, I hope you have time this summer to pursue the things that are important to you. Parents, take the time to make memories with your children. Students, be open to explore new places and ideas because you are only young once. Congratulations to everyone for closing out another school year, but remember that summer is just the start of yet another adventure. Let’s go write the next chapter of our lives.

I’m Back!

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Parenting, Empty Nest, Parenting, Running, Fitness, Running, fitness, Uncategorized

So, it’s been awhile since I was last on this site. Five years to be exact. It is amazing how true the saying is that, “the days go by slow, but the years go by fast.” When I first moved back home to Chicago, my intent was to continue sharing my experiences as a teacher, mother, runner, and woman in today’s society. However, over time, I felt that blogging under the name “pseducator” (public school educator) wasn’t genuine since I was not teaching in a public school at the time. I thought about creating a new blog, but to be honest, life got in the way, and I never got around to it. So, here I am, back in the public education sector, and ready to muse about all that life has to offer. Since I last wrote you, so much has happened in my life and the world itself. To be honest, many times when I would be out running, I would craft a new blog post in my mind and think about getting on here to write it. I apologize that I never did, but I look forward to all that we have to discuss. If you were a previous follower of this blog, welcome back! If you are new to this site, welcome! Let this be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. I’ll talk to you soon.

Thanks, Matt Damon

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

In a recent blog post for The Washington Post, Valerie Strauss discusses actor Matt Damon’s most recent defense of teachers. Damon has had a history of speaking out on behalf of educators in America. I had the privilege of being at the 2011 Save Our Schools rally in Washington D.C. when he gave an impassioned speech defending teachers and attacking the current trends that are threatening public education today. In that speech, he mentioned “corporate reformers” who had never taught a day in their lives making decisions about what happens in classrooms across the country. In his most recent speech, he states, “I’ve always believed that they have to invite teachers into the discussion to help design policy. We would never let business men design warheads, why would you cut out educators when you’re designing education policy?” This is approximately the same question I ask consistently, to anyone who will listen. This is the same question that the American public needs to start asking as well. And not just who is guiding educational policy, but why? Why are wealthy private citizens and corporations trying (and often succeeding) to shape the future of public education? Why are they so determined to paint teachers as money-hungry, over-compensated, and only in education because it is a cush job? Have any of them ever spent a day with a room full of 5 year olds? Or adolescent, hormonal middle schoolers? I dare any of them to live a teacher’s life for one week. However, until the American public stands up for public education, these private entities will continue to yield an unreasonable amount of power and influence. After all, education is funded by public dollars, politicians determine where public dollars get spent, and private corporations bankroll politicians’ careers. In the meantime though, I do appreciate Matt Damon’s efforts on our behalf.
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Save Our Schools

Back to School Advice for Parents

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

Because I had my children so young, my friends all have kids that are still in elementary school. I am often asked for advice on school-related issues since 1) I am a teacher and 2) I have already “been there, done that.” So, in honor of the beginning of a new school year, here is my list of top 5 things parents of school-aged children should know:

1) Be Involved. Research has proven time and time again that the most successful children in school have parents who are involved in their education. Go to Open House, PTA meetings, and attend Parent Conference night – even if your child is doing well. If your child’s teacher has a website, visit it often. Know what the homework is and assist when necessary (which is completely different from doing it for them.) If possible, volunteer in your child’s classroom. I promise you, there is always something that the teacher can have you do. Since I was a teacher for most of my children’s educational careers, I would use my personal days to spend time at their schools. Even an hour of your time would be greatly appreciated.

2) Be supportive. Make sure your child understands that you and the teacher are on the same side. If you have concerns about anything involving the classroom or school, contact the teacher immediately. Little issues become major problems when they aren’t resolved right away. However, that doesn’t mean that you should belittle or undermine your child’s teacher in front of her. Your child won’t respect her teacher if she feels that you don’t.

3) Be responsible. If you drive/walk with your child to school, get him there on time (and pick him up when you’re supposed to). Pay attention to the notes that are sent home, emails and newsletters that are distributed, and the school website. Read the school marquee and listen to the voicemails that get sent out. Your child will follow your example. If you demonstrate that school isn’t important by your actions, that’s what they will grow up to believe.

4) Be inquisitive. Ask your child about her day. Find out what she is reading and learning. Demonstrate a true interest when she tells you. Praise her when she does well on an assignment, and ask questions when she doesn’t. Ask her what she did well and what she needs to work on. Ask about the art projects, music classes, and PE activities as well. Find out everything you can. It will help foster a strong relationship with your child, plus it gives you the foundation for the first three principles mentioned.

5) Be appreciative. Let your child’s teachers know how much you appreciate them – and not just during Teacher Appreciation Week. You would be amazed at how much a small note or quick email can brighten a teacher’s day (I speak from experience). In these turbulent times for education, the teachers that are still in the trenches do it for their love of the children they teach. Your children. The same children who you couldn’t wait to get out of the house and back into school at the end of the summer.

“Teachers teach because they care. Teaching young people is what they do best. It requires long hours, patience, and care.”
–Horace Mann

Does Reese’s Make an Almond Butter Cup?

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

Going out to eat with my brothers and children is always an adventure. Besides the fact that we thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, our dietary needs are quite intricate. One of my brothers is allergic to corn, another brother is allergic to dairy and gluten, and my daughter is a lactose-intolerant vegetarian. Fortunately, my son and I will eat pretty much anything (especially if it’s bacon flavored!). I tend to give my gluten/dairy-free brother a hard time because his diet is so limited. I’m his sister, and that’s my job. However, you know what they say….

What goes around comes around.

My daughter had started complaining about severe gastrointestinal issues while she was away at school. Since she’s 1400 miles away, there wasn’t much I could do about them other than asking some routine questions, assume she had a stomach virus, was stressed, ate something that didn’t sit right with her system, etc. etc. When she came home for the summer, we brought it up to the doctor at a routine check-up. We decided to keep a food diary to help establish a trigger. Although she forgot to actually start one, I kept a mental note. (I am a tiger mom, remember?) The other afternoon, seemingly out of nowhere, she began having severe stomach pains, feeling dizzy, nauseas, and eventually began throwing up. This was the first time she had been like this since coming home, and the only thing she had eaten in the last 24 hours that she hadn’t eaten since her arrival was peanut butter. That’s when it hit me. Peanuts! I asked her if she had eaten peanuts within 24 hours of any time she had been sick like that while at school. She couldn’t remember. I felt very strongly that somehow she had developed an intolerance/allergy to peanuts and told her. Now, you have to understand, as a vegetarian, peanut butter is a staple for my child. She has been known to eat it straight out of the jar with a spoon and can eat a whole bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups in one sitting! The more we talked about it, the more I believed that I was right. As if to prove a point, she decided to eat a package of her beloved Reese’s a couple of days later, and you guessed it. Within a couple hours, she felt like she had “knives stabbing her in the stomach.” She then remembered a couple of times at school having problems after eating Thai peanut sauce on her noodles.
So today was her neurologist check-up (she takes medicine for recurring migraines). She told him the whole story, and in short, we are headed for blood work. He explained that one intolerance often leads to another. She has been lactose intolerant since birth. Formula made from cow’s milk broke her out in hives when she was a baby.There is a family history of celiac disease, which means a gluten intolerance could be one of her migraine triggers, and now there is the peanut issue. Phew! Thankfully, there have been so many advancements made in the dietary world. Just wait until my brother finds out…

Graduation

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

Last night was graduation for the high school where I teach. It was a very emotional evening for me. Not only was my own son graduating, but also a group of seniors who have been very special to me. I’ve written a lot about my baby boy, and I will continue to write a lot more about him in the posts to come (much to his chagrin). So, this post is dedicated to the other seniors that graduated last night. As a high school teacher, graduation is always a special time. It is the culmination of all the hard work we, as teachers, have invested in our students. However, last night was more than that for me. This year, I taught an English IV Honors class for the first time ever. I enjoy teaching freshmen, and that has always been my niche. Four years ago, I volunteered to teach an English I Honors class for our school’s Art Academy. I loved every minute of it so much that, when they needed a teacher for the same students for their sophomore year, I willingly volunteered. During that year, I kept telling them that they were going to have to move on to a different teacher come junior year. They disagreed. Several of their parents even wrote to the principal and guidance counselor requesting that I stay with them their junior year. So I did. By the end of that year, I knew that I wasn’t going to give them up. Therefore, for a handful of those students, I was their only English teacher for all their years of high school. For the remaining students, almost all of them had been with me once before, and many of them at least twice. As if that wasn’t enough, many of the students in this senior class had ran either cross country or track with me throughout their high school careers. Talk about a flood of emotions! Watching my students and athletes walk across that stage filled my heart with pride. I have poured my heart into those students and am so proud of the young adults they have become. I have been blessed to have them in my life and am so excited to see what new adventures are in store for them. Congratulations, Class of 2013 and God Bless!

I am a Tiger Mom

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

I was raised by a tiger mom. In turn, I myself am a tiger mom. I have no qualms admitting this fact. My mother was born and raised in the Philippines. She was sent to America to attend college so she could eventually support her parents and eight siblings back home. Which is exactly what she did. My mom knew that the world was a tough place, so as a child growing up, she prepared me for that. She taught me to be competitive, because let’s face it – the best jobs go to the best candidates. She taught me to persevere no matter what obstacles came at me, because she knew I would face many. She taught me to be disciplined, because who wants a world full of spoiled children and adults who are only concerned with getting their own way? She taught me a strong work ethic, something for which my employers are all grateful. My mom might not have been sentimental, but there has never, ever been a doubt in my mind that she loved me and wanted the best for me. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have cared enough to fight me so hard and instill these values in me. So, when I had my children, I did the same. I was “that mom.” The mom who made sure she knew all her kids’ friends, their parents, and had physically seen their homes before ever letting my children go to them. I was the mom who wouldn’t let my daughter wear make-up, heels, and mature clothing when she was only ten years old – no matter how much she argued that all her friends were doing it. My son is 18 years old and has never owned a Grand Theft Auto game. My kids understood at an early age that the rules were different for them than many of their friends. Now, I will admit that I am much more touchy-feely with my kids than my mom was with me, but it doesn’t change the fact that they will tell all their friends I am the most strict parent they have ever known. Yet, every day, they hug me, kiss me, tell me they love me. They thank me for caring enough about them to be so invested in their well-being. They have grown up to be amazing young adults, known for their honesty, responsibility, and good hearts. They both have goals and plans and are working to achieve them. So while every family and culture is different, go ahead and call me a tiger mom. It won’t offend me in the least.

Mother’s Day Musings

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

It is that time of year again – Mother’s Day. Having worked in the restaurant business for 20 years, I can assure you it is the busiest day of the year. So, on behalf of all my fellow service industry workers, here are three things to remember:
1) We understand that you want Mom to have the best dining experience possible. So do the hundreds of other people in the restaurant with you. Please be patient and courteous. There’s no need to reduce the hostess to tears with your meanness.
2) Today is not the day to be a stingy tipper (nor any day, really). I guarantee that your server is working harder today than any other day of the year. There are going to be delays. Mistakes might even be made, but that is the nature of the business. Unless your server was rude and absolutely ignored you, then please honor their work with a respectable tip. Also, most restaurants take 3% of a server’s sales to give to a tip pool for the bussers and hostesses. So that 15% tip you left? Only 12% goes into their pockets.
3) Please remember while you are enjoying your day with your mom and/or children, our children and/or moms are enjoying this day with someone else.
In closing, I want to wish all you moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day, especially mine. Til next time, my friends.

Whose Child?

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

There is a popular cartoon that has made it’s way around social media for awhile now. In it, there are two halves with almost the exact same picture. There are two parents, a child, and a teacher. It is evident that this is a parent teacher conference. The captions are, “Then,” and, “Now.” In the picture for Then, the parents are demanding the student explain why he has such bad grades. In the Now picture, the parents are demanding the teacher explain why their child has bad grades. As a teacher and parent, I have seen both situations occur in my class. I will be the first to say that my kids have had some phenomenal teachers….and some not-so-phenomenal teachers. I will also say that, just as in any profession, there will always be the handful of teachers who you wish would choose a different career path. However, the good teachers far outweigh the bad ones. For every one negative or unproductive teacher I have come across, whether as a parent or a co-worker, there are a multitude of great ones. Those are the teachers who get to work an hour early and stay an hour late, plus lug even more work home with them. These teachers spend their non-working hours finding ways to perfect their craft by attending classes, workshops, conferences, and the like. They spend their summers designing the units they will teach the upcoming year. Their smartphones and tablets are filled with educational apps as they try to find new and exciting ways to reach their students. These teachers dedicate their lives to helping their students achieve their full potential. Yet, for all the amazing things educators do for your kids, the reality is that they are your kids. Your children, and their education, is your responsibility – just like my children’s education was mine. When I have parents upset with me that their child failed a course when the reason for the F was that he had more missing assignments than completed ones, I just want to ask them, “Where have you been all semester? Where were you when we had our Open House? Where were you when interims and report cards were sent out? What about parent teacher conference night? Where were you every week, as your child’s grades were uploaded to the district posting site, and you received an email telling you what your child’s grade was at that very moment?” I don’t ask these questions, but I should. Then, when the parent tried to make excuses for their lack of involvement in their child’s education, I would inform them that their excuses don’t hold any weight with me. I was a single parent for the majority of my children’s K-12 educational career. I have worked two jobs for over a decade to make ends meet. I even completed grad school during this same time. Yet, at any second of any day, I could tell you exactly what my children’s grades were in every single class they were taking. Why? Because more than anything else, being their parent was my first priority. As such, being involved in their education was always a given. End of story. No excuses. As this school year comes to a close, may we all share that same belief.