Yesterday was the first time I went for a run since the day that time stood still. There was a part of me that felt that it was too soon. I felt I was being selfish for wanting this time for myself when there was so much to do and people who need me. However, running has always been my therapy. Anytime my heart has been broken, I have taken solace in my running. It comforts me, strengthens me, and helps me feel there are still areas in my life of which I have control. So, I laced up my shoes and hit the road. The first mile was hard. I reminisced, I cried, I struggled to put one foot in front of the other. As I kept running, the messages that my “dad” preached over the years started to fill my head. Messages about running a good race, pressing on despite the circumstances, being strong in the face of adversity, trusting God in all things, hard work, sacrifice, and the like. The more I ran, the more I realized and believed that this run was my best way of honoring him. For this is exactly what he would want for me and everyone else affected by his death. He would want us to press on, to keep dreaming, setting goals, and working to achieve them. That is the truth for anyone who has lost a loved one. Yes, we mourn, and yes we are broken-hearted. But we are still alive. And we must carry on. That is how we pay tribute to our loved ones who have passed on and strengthen our spirits.
Category: Running, fitness
Packing Pressure
Moving is never fun. Even when the move is a happy occasion, the actual act of moving is something we all dislike. Sorting, cleaning, packing, loading and unloading boxes…it’s exhausting! Last year, I had the daunting task of packing up eight years’ worth of belongings to move across town. The house I left was the first house I had owned. It was also the longest time I had ever lived in one place. I had forgotten about how terrible moving was. Plus, I was downsizing. Therefore, I had to decide what to keep and what to discard, give away, sell, etc. This time around, I am moving across the country. I actually am moving all my belongings into storage for a month before I then load it up in the Uhaul to lug across state lines. Even then, I will first go to my daughter’s new apartment at her college, unload her half of the items, unpack her storage, and drop her off before I ultimately end up at my destination. Once there, I will then have to put my things back into a storage unit until I find a permanent residence. By the time this is all done and over with, I will have moved enough to last me for quite some time. Craziness. I know in the end this will all pay off, but right now, the sea of boxes and piles of belongings is just a little ridiculous. It also can be just a little stressful. That’s where the running and yoga take over. I have tried to maintain a consistent schedule with both, even through the chaos, because I know that if I don’t, I will probably spontaneously combust. Just today, I realized I was feeling slightly more agitated than usual. I also realized that I haven’t had a good long run for awhile. There have been short jaunts and (almost) daily yoga classes, but nothing long enough to work the kinks out. So, that has been added to the top of my to do list. I know I need to hit the road to release some of the pressure I am feeling. Out there, it’s just God and me. I pray, meditate, reflect, and just let myself be. That is why I agree with the words of John Bryant, “My feeling is that any day I am too busy to run is a day that I am too busy.”
School’s Out for Summer
This past Wednesday was the last day of school. Even though I had already spent quite a bit of time going through file cabinets and bookshelves, it still took me almost two days to sort through my belongings and pack up my room. You can only imagine how difficult it is to go through a decade’s worth of teaching material. Plus, I do not yet know what I will be teaching (or if I’ll be teaching) when I move, so of course I don’t want to get rid of anything. I did put together a couple of boxes that I am donating to new teachers, but everything else is now sitting in the corner of one of the portables on campus until I actually move at the end of July. This is also the first summer ever that I have not taught summer school. So now I find myself with 8 weeks to alternate my time between the beach and getting ready for my move. I have some really great plans: spending time with my family and friends before I leave them, reading all the books that were neglected during the school year, continue job hunting, and training for another half- marathon. The first one that I ran post-injury was in March. While I accomplished my primary goal of completing the race, my body definitely wasn’t anywhere as strong as I would’ve liked it to be. Shortly after that race, I recommitted to my yoga practice. I will say it has helped tremendously. I am excited to see how this race compares to the one I ran in March. I’ll keep you posted. 🙂
Spinning Plates
My son is graduating from high school in six days, my daughter is halfway through college, I’ve turned in my letter of resignation, and am trying to pack both a classroom and a house in order to move across the country in less than three months. My brothers will be here in two days, and I have not yet cleaned my house (partially because I’m trying to pack it!) I have a graduation party to host, along with my track team’s annual awards picnic. (Did I mention I am the head coach?) Wow. That’s a lot for one person to absorb. Oh, did I mention that I don’t have a job lined up yet when I arrive back home to the Windy City? The funny thing is that, since I am dual certified to teach both English grades 6-12 and Special Education K-12, that whole job thing is the least of my worries. However, everything else? A little overwhelming. My mind feels like it’s racing continuously. I have so many to-do lists, they are on the verge of being counterproductive. I feel like the entertainer who spins plates for a living, constantly running from one plate to another to make sure that none of them come crashing down. Today, I actually almost fell asleep for real in yoga class as we were in our relaxation pose! Afterwards, I was briefly tempted to skip my run because I knew there was so much to do. But, I didn’t. I laced up my shoes and hit the road, and thank goodness I did. As I inhaled the cool evening air, I could feel my load get a little lighter. As I ran, I began plotting out a course of action – what to do, when to do it, etc. By the time I finished those three miles, the world was conquered, and I was at peace. This is why I run. Because even when my life is jumbled, my running declares that I am still here. I am alive. I am strong.
The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.-John Bingham
Words from the Long Run 