Run Your Race

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Motivational, Running, fitness, Uncategorized
Image result for running images

Over the years, I have consistently stated that running is one of the best analogies for life. A fantastic example of this occurred just this past weekend. About two months before my vacation, I had signed up for a 10k on Saturday and a half-marathon on Sunday. Both of the races were ones that I had done previously and really enjoyed. Also, the 10k had a really awesome long-sleeved technical running shirt and as a runner in the Midwest, I need all the long-sleeved shirts I can get! Anyway, let’s just say that it might not have been one of my smartest ideas. During the month of August, I really did not run as much as I thought I would. Although I had brought my running shoes with me on my trip, I only had a chance to use them once. My itinerary was just too full each day, and let’s be honest, I was walking anywhere from 10-12 miles per day just exploring and really didn’t have the energy for it. Plus, when I returned home, it took me awhile to feel rested and ready to get back into the swing of things. While I had completed a couple of five mile runs here and there over the summer, the last time I ran ten miles was for a race over Memorial Day weekend. Furthermore, I hadn’t even taken into consideration that these races would take place right after the beginning of the school year when I was still adjusting to those 5am wake-up calls. However, despite all these roadblocks, I was determined to complete what I had committed myself to at the beginning of the summer. Over the course of two days and a total of 19.3 miles, these were the thoughts that came to me as related to life and running.

Keep your commitments. I tell people all the time that one of the main ways I help myself stay motivated as a runner is by signing up for races. There is something about the camaraderie and energy about a race that is hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Runners respect each other as runners because they know how hard the work is to get to that starting line. It doesn’t matter if you are a 5-minute miler or a 15-minute miler; it took training and focus to be able to toe the line on race day. So when I sign up for a race, that is a commitment that I know I need to keep. It is a commitment to myself because I’ve invested my money. It is a commitment to others because I almost always talk one of my friends into running the race with me. And it is a commitment to the running community, because anyone who hosts a running event wants to see as many people there as possible. If everyone just paid a race fee and then never showed up, the event would not be considered a success – even though the money had been raised. In life, we need to be just as diligent about keeping our commitments to those around us. Both my biological children and my student children over the years used to get so frustrated when they would ask for permission to do something and I would answer with a, “Maybe.” After awhile, they would all understand that “maybe” usually meant “yes,” and they would call me out for never giving them a straight answer. I would explain to them (and still explain to my students today), that I often said maybe in response to requests because I needed to be ensure that I could honor my word. If I answered a request with a yes, then they could count on it happening. On the other hand, if I answered a request with a no, they understood the answer wouldn’t eventually change to yes. Over time, they grew to appreciate those “maybe” answers a whole lot more!

Stay focused. Anytime I run a race, or if I’m having a hard time on a training run, I choose a marker of some kind up ahead to focus on while I am running. I will tell myself to get to that light pole, park bench, stop sign, etc. It’s amazing how just zeroing in on a specific goal helps me to be able to keep going. When running longer races, I usually break it down in chunks. I don’t think of the 26.2 miles I need to run. I think of the first 5k, and then the second 5k, the third and so on until I cross that finish line. Our lives are the same way. You must find some way to stay focused on some thing in order to not just drift through life aimlessly. It could be that you’re focused on a big picture goal, so you understand you have to break it up into manageable steps in order to create an action plan. Perhaps you are focused on a selected group of small tasks that you just need to get accomplished. Either way, by keeping focused you will achieve your end goals sooner and with less unnecessary frustrations.

Know the rules of the road. At the half-marathon I ran on Sunday, they had pace groups – as is usually the case at longer races. A pace group is a group that has a leader running a certain pace throughout the race. As long as you stay with that group, you should finish in that goal time. When I run longer than a 10k, I actually have to do run/walk intervals due to a previous back injury. So I will run for three minutes and then walk for one. I have trained myself to be able to run fairly even splits with this method; therefore I will often pass/fall behind a pace group with each interval. However, there was one particular pace group where the leader obviously had not explained to them the most important rule of racing and the most important rule of running with a group. Slower runners stay to the right, and when running in a group don’t block the path. This particular group was spread out across the whole trail so that passing them was next to impossible. I would keep getting penned in behind them which was very frustrating and was affecting my ability to pace correctly. While our lives may be governed by a variety of laws that can change depending on who has the power to change them, there is one very basic rule to which we all need to adhere. It is so vital to our overall well-being that almost every type of religion has a version of it. Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. If we all followed this principle in our lives, the world would be a much happier, safer, cleaner place.

Be in the moment. I often tell others that whenever I’m out running, it is a time for me to just be. The world is a loud and busy place. There are so many things pulling us in so many directions. It is quite possible for someone to go through an entire day on autopilot just trying to get things accomplished. When running, that same danger is there. The run is just something we need to complete so we cross it off our list. I’ve caught myself doing both – just getting through a day checking off a to-do list and pushing through a run just because I needed to burn off the pizza I ate last night. However, my running has helped me to really zero in on the right now. As I focus on my breathing, rock out to a great playlist, and take in the world around me, I am reminded to count my blessings and find the stillness within me.

Run your race. I am finishing this list with the very same thought that started this post because it might possibly be the one we all need to remember the most. “Run your race!” is a phrase you will often hear coaches yell out to their runners, especially when a race is particularly close. Every runner needs to focus on what they are doing in their race, not on the runners behind them. How many of us have seen the runner turn around to see how close someone was behind them only to be overtaken or even injured? Some runners have a strong start and are able to maintain a steady pace throughout. Other runners start out at a more even pace but have the ability to kick it in gear in the end. No matter the race, as a runner, you have to focus on you – your training, your strategy, your game plan. And the same is so true of our lives. No matter what others are doing around you, you must stay focused on your race…your goals, your path, your own surroundings. Because even though we are all running a course, we are not running the same course. Some runners may be faster, others will be slower. You might come across an obstacle that wasn’t there for the runners in front of you. However, your race is yours alone. Don’t get caught up on whatever is happening around you. Listen to your coaches and your inner voice while keeping your eyes on the finish line, cause you’ve got this.

Do you want someone to help coach you to your personal finish line? Email me at kimberlyfreyconsulting@gmail.com so we can tackle your life race together!

If Planning a Trip to Italy or France…

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Travel, Uncategorized

I did it! After all the planning and preparation over the last several months, I have just returned home from my very first solo international trip. I spent a week in Italy and a week in France, and it was even more than I expected it to be. In the months leading up to my trip, people would often ask me what I was most looking forward to, ask about my plans, even inquire about whether or not I was nervous to go alone. No matter how many conversations I had, books and websites I read, or research I conducted though, nothing could adequately prepare me for this journey. It’s much like having a baby. You can read about it, go to childbirth classes, and talk to the hundreds who have had this same experience before you, but it still does not prepare you for the reality of your own child birthing process and when your baby arrives. Many people have asked me about my trip though, so I am going to attempt to share some of my process with all of you.

To start with, I knew I wanted the bookends of my trip to be Paris and Rome. I eventually decided to start in Rome and finish in Paris because I knew I would be tired at the end of my trip and wanted to have more energy for Rome. I stand by that decision. Rome (all of Italy really) was hotter than France, and seemed to be more crowded and frenetic than Paris. Furthermore, in Rome I did a lot more walking (11-15 miles per day). I think if I had done it the other way around, I definitely would’ve regretted it. In all, I visited Rome, Florence, Venice, the Cinque Terre, Avignon, Versailles, and Paris. It was a whirlwind tour!

I chose to use Air BnBs as they were cheaper than hotels but nicer than hostels. With the exception of one location, I had entire apartments to myself for less than the price of a hotel room! I only used locations that were verified Superhosts, carefully read about the amenities, and researched the locations. I ended up with a view of the Colosseum in Rome, right in the middle of one of the most popular areas in Venice, the most perfect view in Manarola, practically next door to the Palace of the Popes in Avignon, and next door to the Picasso Museum and around the corner from public transit in Paris. It pays to do your research! The only time I wasn’t in the middle of things was my one hotel in Florence, and I had booked that based more on its price than paying attention to its location (a major mistake I won’t ever make again!)

Navigating the trains from city to city was much easier than I had expected it to be. After the first couple of times, I felt like a pro arranging my transport from one area of the country to the other. It is definitely cheaper to just buy as you go versus using the rail pass if you are just doing a couple of countries. Also, buying your tickets along the way allows you to have flexibility of staying longer in one area or leaving sooner than you had originally planned. The trains are generally clean inside, although many of the one in Italy have graffiti all over the outsides of them. Here’s a tip – the train stations (and actually most public restrooms) in both Italy and France charge one euro to use the restroom. There are bathrooms on the trains, and they are free (although they are just glorified portapotties).

For those of you planning your trips overseas, bring a water bottle! There are public water fountains everywhere, and the water is usually just as cold as if you bought it from the store, especially in Rome where the fountains are fed by aqueducts. It’s an adventure just exploring all the different fountains in the city, as there are hundreds – and all of them unique and beautiful in some way.

Lastly, I think one of the things I enjoyed the most about my trip was allowing myself the freedom of flexibility. If I wanted to sit in a sidewalk cafe and write in my journal for awhile, I did. If I saw a church spiral off in the distance I wanted to see up close, I’d figure out how to navigate myself to that point. Don’t pack your itinerary so full that you feel pressured to get it all done. Let the magic of the moment guide you at times and be willing to try new things. Do what matters to you, not what everyone else says you just “have to do while you’re there.”

In closing, my trip was all I wanted it to be and already has me planning for another. Thank you to all who read this quite lengthy post. Please feel free to comment or ask questions below and to share this post with others. Ciao! Au revoir! Until next time, I leave you with one of my favorite pictures from my trip.

Status Update

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Uncategorized

When I last wrote to you all, I had presented my summer “to-do” list. This being only the second time in my teaching career where I have a full summer break, I was purposeful at the beginning to make sure I would be using this time wisely. Fast forward three weeks, and the status update is as follows:

  1. Half-marathon training: I have been running more consistently than I have in probably a year. In addition to my running, I have been going to yoga and other workouts designed to help me build my strength and speed as a runner. My pace is still slower than I would like it to be, but as I focus on more speed workouts in the upcoming months, I am hoping that will improve.
  2. Organizing/Cleaning my apartment: I am happy to report that I have made quite a bit of progress in this area! When I look around my apartment, I can see the areas where there has been improvement. Alas, I can also see the many areas where I need to get it in gear, especially since I essentially only have two weeks to finish up these projects before I return to work.
  3. Focusing on writing: At the beginning of this summer, I set an ambitious goal to write a new post for both of my blogs at least once weekly. Well, that hasn’t quite happened, although in addition to writing for my other blog, I did also get quite a bit of journaling done. Next week I will be leaving for my vacation. I am bringing my laptop and plan on blogging about all my adventures, as this will be a first-time experience for me and many of my friends have asked for me to share my stories.
  4. Getting ready for my trip: I feel that this is where I have made the most progress. I did not realize how time-consuming planning a solo two-week European vacation would be. Not only did I book all my Air BnBs, but I have also researched and booked all of my tours, excursions, experiences, etc. While this has taken quite a bit of my time since I last wrote you, it has been very fulfilling. I am so excited for my trip and can’t believe that I will be heading out in only eight days!
  5. Preparing for my new website launch: This is probably the area where I have made the least progress, which is ironic because it is definitely the one I thought I would most focus on when this summer began. However, I still have some time to be more productive in this area and have made sure to include it in my schedule to ensure that I do just that.

I feel that going through this list, the wins/losses columns are pretty even at this point. Because of some work commitments that I have going on next week, I will only have two or three days before my trip to devote to anything. Upon return from my trip, I will have one week of vacation left before returning to work. I understand that it’s crunch time, which is why I am sitting in a coffee shop on a beautiful summer day writing to all of you and creating new content for my website. Thank you for supporting me as I focus on achieving my goals. Feel free to comment/share what you are currently focusing on so I can return the favor!

Trying Something New

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Motivational, Running, fitness, Uncategorized

Hello, summer! I realize that summer vacation for the majority of teachers is already almost halfway over, but my school district didn’t have their last day for students until June 20th. So for me, summer vacation is really just getting started.

Initially, I had planned on finding a job for the summer to supplement my income since my school district distributes our salaries over a 10-month schedule instead of a full year. The thought of not having a steady income coming in was very nerve-wracking for me – even though I have money saved and my regular bartending gig. However, as I sat and went through my actual income vs. expenses, I realized that I would be able to swing not taking on (technically) a third job. Furthermore, not getting another job would give me the time I have desperately been needing to check off some major items on my to-do list:

  1. Half-marathon training (trying to run a sub-2 hour race this year)
  2. Organizing the piles of papers that have taken over my apartment (plus maybe even some deep cleaning)
  3. Focusing on writing (for both my blogs, my novel draft, and my personal journals)
  4. Getting ready for my trip (longest vacation ever!)
  5. Getting everything ready for the launch of my new website (can’t wait to share with you all!)

Looking at this list, it doesn’t seem that long. Just five items, right folks? Breaking down each item on the list though, makes it seem daunting for even a fierce goal-setter such as myself. My planner and I have become best friends as I have spent time breaking down each of these tasks into manageable chunks for each day while making sure I also have time to catch up with family and friends. I am excited about all the opportunity this time is presenting for me since this is only the second time in my teaching career that I haven’t taught summer school. I guess since item #3 on this list is to be more focused on my writing, you should be hearing updates on my progress on a more consistent basis. I look forward to sharing this summer with you as I try new things, explore new places, and begin new ventures. Hopefully my tales will inspire others out there to attempt something new as well, and if so, I hope you will comment here so I can join you on your journey.

Let the adventures begin!

The Beginning of the End…and the End of the Beginning

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

Although it seems as if school has ended for everyone, the district where I teach still has another week to go. The last day for students is next Thursday, the 20th. For teachers? Well, we have not only Friday the 21st to go, but also Monday the 24th. However, it is close enough to the end of this year to finally feel it is the right time for reflection.

This year was one of major changes for me professionally. It was my first year in a new role and with a new district. I had to learn all new systems – and am still learning them. I had to get to know new administrators and teaching staff, and also learn how I fit into this organization. It was my first time not having my own classroom or a home room of my own students, but instead being a part of multiple classrooms and working with a variety of students in all grade levels. It was a year where I often felt I didn’t quite fit in, even though I was serving in exactly the role I wanted for myself. I was no longer a classroom teacher in the traditional sense, but I also was not technically an administrator. It has been a year of challenging myself in new ways and identifying new goals. On top of that, as I shared with readers in a previous blog, this past year was one of great loss and deep grief. Managing all of these obstacles has been hard, but I’ve made it. This is just the beginning of this chapter of my life, so I look forward to how the rest of the story will play out.

For all my fellow educators, I hope you have time this summer to pursue the things that are important to you. Parents, take the time to make memories with your children. Students, be open to explore new places and ideas because you are only young once. Congratulations to everyone for closing out another school year, but remember that summer is just the start of yet another adventure. Let’s go write the next chapter of our lives.

Spring Fever

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Uncategorized

It’s May. Mid-May to be exact. While spring is a time of freshness and excitement as we leave behind the bitterness of winter, for teachers it is probably the hardest time of the year. For teachers, spring means students who are so close to summer vacation they struggle even more than usual to pay attention in class. Spring means students getting a week off from school and returning to class saying they don’t remember anything from the week prior. Spring means lots of rainy days where kids can’t go outside for recess. And spring means end-of-the-year testing – which will often determine whether or not students are promoted to the next grade and is also a large factor of a teacher’s performance evaluation.

Generally speaking, teachers are fond of assessments. We understand that in order to determine what our students learn, there must be an assessment given. We know that analyzing student assessments will guide our future instruction to make it more meaningful for our kids. We firmly believe that educators need to be held accountable for the education they are providing. No truly good teacher wants a bad teacher tarnishing the profession and creating an increased workload for his or her co-workers. However, the increased amount of standardized testing, the pressures it places on our students, and the degree of importance it now has been given to both students and educators is overwhelming. Children as young as eight and nine discuss being scared about testing because they’re afraid they’re going to fail. Teachers lose over a month of instructional time a year due to students taking standardized tests. Because these tests are now used as promotion criteria for many students, they usually take place about a month ahead of the last day of school. So teachers lose even more valuable instructional time because once these tests are completed, students simply check-out mentally seeing as they have already taken “the test.” And teachers who work with some of the most challenging populations are penalized on their evaluations because their students did not perform well due to a myriad of factors that were out of the teacher’s control.

Teacher Appreciation Week was already held at the beginning of May, but if you didn’t get a chance to thank a teacher, it’s never too late. As the school year is winding down, take time to acknowledge the growth your child has shown over the course of the school year and to appreciate your child(ren)’s teacher(s) for the part they played in it. If you don’t have school-aged children, send some encouragement to your friends who are teachers or maybe even drop off a surprise at your local neighborhood school. It will only take a few minutes of your time, but will mean a whole lot more than you know.

More Than Words

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Uncategorized

Four months ago today, I lost my soulmate. Her name was Chanda, and she had been my best friend for over 30 years. We had walked this path of life together since we were 11 years old. We were together through puberty, adolescence, college, marriages, children, divorces, and everything else under the sun. I wrote on this blog of her dad’s passing back in 2013 and how it changed everything. However, losing her changes things even more profoundly than that event had. I mentioned previously that there were life-altering events that occurred in 2018, and this is definitely the biggest one. Her passing has changed everything forever and in every way, and although it is still too soon and the wounds are still too fresh to write freely today, I was compelled to pause for a moment to remember her. For in remembering those who pass before us, we honor them and the impact they had on our lives. She was my “Thunder Buddy for Life,” and I miss her more than words can express.

Every Day I’m Shuffling

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Motivational, Running, fitness, Uncategorized

2018 was a year full of fantastic high points and absolutely devastating low ones. I know people often write their reflections on the previous year sometime in January, but I have only recently returned to blogging, so I missed the boat then. However, there are things about last year I need to share in order to fully write about the present or begin to look towards the future.

Tomorrow I am running the Chicago Shamrock Shuffle for the 6th year in a row. I love this race, and it is often the official start of racing/running season for me. Last year I almost didn’t participate in this event though, because approximately six weeks prior, on the day after Super Bowl Sunday, I was rushed to the emergency room with excruciating pain. I could barely swallow or speak. I thought it was a lymph node infection or something like that, but I didn’t believe it was anything dangerous. Boy, was I wrong! The speed and efficiency at which the hospital staff moved once they determined the danger I was in was impressive. Long story short, the infection had caused swelling which in turn had caused my airway to become constricted. I had to have an emergency tracheotomy performed in order to save my life and a complex surgery to get rid of the infection. It was the scariest health situation I have ever been in, but ultimately – I. Am. Here.

Last year I was cleared to run this race only a couple of weeks prior to the event. I didn’t care though. I was just ecstatic to be out there. I actually cried a little as I ran around the last bend before the finish line because I was so grateful to still be alive, much less running. This year, I’m trying to set a new personal record on this course as a testament to still being alive and a tribute to those who have gone on before me. Every day is such a gift. Let us use those gifts wisely as we shuffle on.

‘Cause everything you thought would last forever

Never lasts forever like you plan

Don’t let your now become another

So take life by the hands while you still can – Brothers Osborne

40 Days of Kindness

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Uncategorized

Yesterday was the beginning of Lent. I am not Catholic, but I have pushed myself every year to give things up during this season. As I tell those who ask why I do this, Catholics do not have the market cornered on giving things up, or sacrificing, in order to receive clarity, direction, or to get more in tune with their spiritual side, etc. However, 2018 was one heck of a year (the details of which I’ll slowly be sharing with you over the next few weeks), and during the month of February, I felt led to go on a Daniel Fast. I spent 21 days giving up pretty much everything I enjoyed, as far as food and drink goes. So as I was considering Lent, I really was stumped about what to do. Until I became inspired by one of my friends. He shared with me that one of his friends uses Lent to add something in to his life versus taking something out. He goes to the gym every day, commits to read for an hour, or to try something new. This inspired me, and thus the 40 Days of Kindness mission was born. I want to spend each day of this season purposefully looking for ways to be kind to others. And not just those within my social circle or personal networks. I want to be kind to those who would be least expecting it…and quite possibly could need it the most. Shortly after committing to this act, my school announced it has having a kindness assembly – which happened today. Confirmation that I chose the right idea. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes!

Day 1) complimented a random stranger (Lame, I know, but it was almost midnight.)