Does Reese’s Make an Almond Butter Cup?

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

Going out to eat with my brothers and children is always an adventure. Besides the fact that we thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, our dietary needs are quite intricate. One of my brothers is allergic to corn, another brother is allergic to dairy and gluten, and my daughter is a lactose-intolerant vegetarian. Fortunately, my son and I will eat pretty much anything (especially if it’s bacon flavored!). I tend to give my gluten/dairy-free brother a hard time because his diet is so limited. I’m his sister, and that’s my job. However, you know what they say….

What goes around comes around.

My daughter had started complaining about severe gastrointestinal issues while she was away at school. Since she’s 1400 miles away, there wasn’t much I could do about them other than asking some routine questions, assume she had a stomach virus, was stressed, ate something that didn’t sit right with her system, etc. etc. When she came home for the summer, we brought it up to the doctor at a routine check-up. We decided to keep a food diary to help establish a trigger. Although she forgot to actually start one, I kept a mental note. (I am a tiger mom, remember?) The other afternoon, seemingly out of nowhere, she began having severe stomach pains, feeling dizzy, nauseas, and eventually began throwing up. This was the first time she had been like this since coming home, and the only thing she had eaten in the last 24 hours that she hadn’t eaten since her arrival was peanut butter. That’s when it hit me. Peanuts! I asked her if she had eaten peanuts within 24 hours of any time she had been sick like that while at school. She couldn’t remember. I felt very strongly that somehow she had developed an intolerance/allergy to peanuts and told her. Now, you have to understand, as a vegetarian, peanut butter is a staple for my child. She has been known to eat it straight out of the jar with a spoon and can eat a whole bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups in one sitting! The more we talked about it, the more I believed that I was right. As if to prove a point, she decided to eat a package of her beloved Reese’s a couple of days later, and you guessed it. Within a couple hours, she felt like she had “knives stabbing her in the stomach.” She then remembered a couple of times at school having problems after eating Thai peanut sauce on her noodles.
So today was her neurologist check-up (she takes medicine for recurring migraines). She told him the whole story, and in short, we are headed for blood work. He explained that one intolerance often leads to another. She has been lactose intolerant since birth. Formula made from cow’s milk broke her out in hives when she was a baby.There is a family history of celiac disease, which means a gluten intolerance could be one of her migraine triggers, and now there is the peanut issue. Phew! Thankfully, there have been so many advancements made in the dietary world. Just wait until my brother finds out…

Memorial Day

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Empty Nest, Uncategorized

Tomorrow I am taking my son to the Air Force recruiting office to turn in his application and begin the process of making him an Airman. To say I am nervous is an understatement. I know that this is a good decision. I know that he will benefit greatly from serving his country, in ways both tangible and intangible. However, I also know that I will miss him terribly. Even though he will probably not ship out for approximately 6-9months, I was not prepared to say good-bye to him so quickly. The original plan was for him to move with me to Chicago and then go to fire school there. He has dreamed of being a fire fighter since about the seventh grade. While he was in fire school, he would’ve just lived with me. In reality, I was expecting to have at least a couple of years with him still at home. That thought did not upset me. While my son and I have had some rough patches in our relationship, especially while he was going through the wilderness of puberty, we are at a really good place right now. He has matured and grown into a young man I truly enjoy. To lose him now that I feel like I just recently found him again is upsetting. Yet, as a parent who only wants the best for her child, I also know that this isn’t about me. In truth, I was the one that opened the door to this path. I knew that a life in the military would be an asset to my son. I knew he would only benefit from the experience. I only want the best for him, and this decision is the epitome of that wish. This Memorial Day, I pay tribute to the men and women who have served our country – past and present. Too many of you did not make it back to your families, and my prayers are with those you left behind. Your sacrifice and dedication is inspiring. As I prepare to send my son to join your ranks, although my heart is heavy, it is also full of pride. God Bless America, and each and every one of you.

School’s Out for Summer

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Running, fitness, Uncategorized

This past Wednesday was the last day of school. Even though I had already spent quite a bit of time going through file cabinets and bookshelves, it still took me almost two days to sort through my belongings and pack up my room. You can only imagine how difficult it is to go through a decade’s worth of teaching material. Plus, I do not yet know what I will be teaching (or if I’ll be teaching) when I move, so of course I don’t want to get rid of anything. I did put together a couple of boxes that I am donating to new teachers, but everything else is now sitting in the corner of one of the portables on campus until I actually move at the end of July. This is also the first summer ever that I have not taught summer school. So now I find myself with 8 weeks to alternate my time between the beach and getting ready for my move. I have some really great plans: spending time with my family and friends before I leave them, reading all the books that were neglected during the school year, continue job hunting, and training for another half- marathon. The first one that I ran post-injury was in March. While I accomplished my primary goal of completing the race, my body definitely wasn’t anywhere as strong as I would’ve liked it to be. Shortly after that race, I recommitted to my yoga practice. I will say it has helped tremendously. I am excited to see how this race compares to the one I ran in March. I’ll keep you posted. 🙂

Graduation

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Parenting, Uncategorized

Last night was graduation for the high school where I teach. It was a very emotional evening for me. Not only was my own son graduating, but also a group of seniors who have been very special to me. I’ve written a lot about my baby boy, and I will continue to write a lot more about him in the posts to come (much to his chagrin). So, this post is dedicated to the other seniors that graduated last night. As a high school teacher, graduation is always a special time. It is the culmination of all the hard work we, as teachers, have invested in our students. However, last night was more than that for me. This year, I taught an English IV Honors class for the first time ever. I enjoy teaching freshmen, and that has always been my niche. Four years ago, I volunteered to teach an English I Honors class for our school’s Art Academy. I loved every minute of it so much that, when they needed a teacher for the same students for their sophomore year, I willingly volunteered. During that year, I kept telling them that they were going to have to move on to a different teacher come junior year. They disagreed. Several of their parents even wrote to the principal and guidance counselor requesting that I stay with them their junior year. So I did. By the end of that year, I knew that I wasn’t going to give them up. Therefore, for a handful of those students, I was their only English teacher for all their years of high school. For the remaining students, almost all of them had been with me once before, and many of them at least twice. As if that wasn’t enough, many of the students in this senior class had ran either cross country or track with me throughout their high school careers. Talk about a flood of emotions! Watching my students and athletes walk across that stage filled my heart with pride. I have poured my heart into those students and am so proud of the young adults they have become. I have been blessed to have them in my life and am so excited to see what new adventures are in store for them. Congratulations, Class of 2013 and God Bless!

I am a Tiger Mom

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

I was raised by a tiger mom. In turn, I myself am a tiger mom. I have no qualms admitting this fact. My mother was born and raised in the Philippines. She was sent to America to attend college so she could eventually support her parents and eight siblings back home. Which is exactly what she did. My mom knew that the world was a tough place, so as a child growing up, she prepared me for that. She taught me to be competitive, because let’s face it – the best jobs go to the best candidates. She taught me to persevere no matter what obstacles came at me, because she knew I would face many. She taught me to be disciplined, because who wants a world full of spoiled children and adults who are only concerned with getting their own way? She taught me a strong work ethic, something for which my employers are all grateful. My mom might not have been sentimental, but there has never, ever been a doubt in my mind that she loved me and wanted the best for me. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t have cared enough to fight me so hard and instill these values in me. So, when I had my children, I did the same. I was “that mom.” The mom who made sure she knew all her kids’ friends, their parents, and had physically seen their homes before ever letting my children go to them. I was the mom who wouldn’t let my daughter wear make-up, heels, and mature clothing when she was only ten years old – no matter how much she argued that all her friends were doing it. My son is 18 years old and has never owned a Grand Theft Auto game. My kids understood at an early age that the rules were different for them than many of their friends. Now, I will admit that I am much more touchy-feely with my kids than my mom was with me, but it doesn’t change the fact that they will tell all their friends I am the most strict parent they have ever known. Yet, every day, they hug me, kiss me, tell me they love me. They thank me for caring enough about them to be so invested in their well-being. They have grown up to be amazing young adults, known for their honesty, responsibility, and good hearts. They both have goals and plans and are working to achieve them. So while every family and culture is different, go ahead and call me a tiger mom. It won’t offend me in the least.

Those Who Can, Teach

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Education, Uncategorized

Today I read a Washington Post article titled, “What if Finland’s Great Teachers Taught in U.S. schools?” For those of you unfamiliar with Finland’s educational system, it is consistently ranked one of the best in the world. It wasn’t always that way. In fact, Finland’s surge to the top of international educational rankings has caused many nations (America included) to take notice. Everyone wants to know what is Finland’s secret to success. Well, I will tell you that it is not their standardized testing systems for students. Quality education comes from having quality teachers, and that is where Finland has focused its efforts. However, they have not focused their efforts by tying teacher evaluations to students’ standardized test scores, like our current political forces are attempting to do here. Instead, Finland has focused its attention on how teachers get into the classroom, versus what they do once they are in one. To become a teacher in Finland is a rigorous process. Instead of hundreds of varieties of teacher preparation programs, there is only one. This is true for many countries where there are students who outperform American students on international testing. There is no fast-track to becoming a teacher in these countries. For example, all teachers in Finland complete the same coursework and earn master’s degrees from research universities. The competition for entering into one of these programs is on par with a student attempting to get into law school or study medicine. Therefore, the teachers in Finland ultimately earn the same degree of respect as lawyers and doctors. While Finland has shunned standardization in schools, it embraces standardization when preparing its teachers. Thus assured that only the the best and brightest are entering the profession, these same teachers are then given the freedom to practice their craft once they have secured a teaching position. In contrast, here in the United States, the common belief is that anyone can be a teacher. Even more damaging to the profession is the underlying thought that teachers are individuals who were not able to be successful in their first career choice. We’ve all heard the saying, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.” What an awful statement to make about men and women who have chosen to spend their lives educating the youth of this country. However, perhaps if there was more quality control on the front-end, people would have more confidence in the teaching profession. If getting accepted into an education program was as difficult as being accepted into law school or a med program, maybe there would be more credibility and respect for the teaching profession as a whole. Then, maybe we would be trusted to know what’s best for our students instead of having outside sources-who have absolutely no teaching experience whatsoever- tell us what we should be doing for them. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2013/05/15/what-if-finlands-great-teachers-taught-in-u-s-schools-not-what-you-think/

Spinning Plates

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Empty Nest, Running, fitness, Uncategorized

My son is graduating from high school in six days, my daughter is halfway through college, I’ve turned in my letter of resignation, and am trying to pack both a classroom and a house in order to move across the country in less than three months. My brothers will be here in two days, and I have not yet cleaned my house (partially because I’m trying to pack it!) I have a graduation party to host, along with my track team’s annual awards picnic. (Did I mention I am the head coach?) Wow. That’s a lot for one person to absorb. Oh, did I mention that I don’t have a job lined up yet when I arrive back home to the Windy City? The funny thing is that, since I am dual certified to teach both English grades 6-12 and Special Education K-12, that whole job thing is the least of my worries. However, everything else? A little overwhelming. My mind feels like it’s racing continuously. I have so many to-do lists, they are on the verge of being counterproductive. I feel like the entertainer who spins plates for a living, constantly running from one plate to another to make sure that none of them come crashing down. Today, I actually almost fell asleep for real in yoga class as we were in our relaxation pose! Afterwards, I was briefly tempted to skip my run because I knew there was so much to do. But, I didn’t. I laced up my shoes and hit the road, and thank goodness I did. As I inhaled the cool evening air, I could feel my load get a little lighter. As I ran, I began plotting out a course of action – what to do, when to do it, etc. By the time I finished those three miles, the world was conquered, and I was at peace. This is why I run. Because even when my life is jumbled, my running declares that I am still here. I am alive. I am strong.

The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.-John Bingham

Mother’s Day Musings

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

It is that time of year again – Mother’s Day. Having worked in the restaurant business for 20 years, I can assure you it is the busiest day of the year. So, on behalf of all my fellow service industry workers, here are three things to remember:
1) We understand that you want Mom to have the best dining experience possible. So do the hundreds of other people in the restaurant with you. Please be patient and courteous. There’s no need to reduce the hostess to tears with your meanness.
2) Today is not the day to be a stingy tipper (nor any day, really). I guarantee that your server is working harder today than any other day of the year. There are going to be delays. Mistakes might even be made, but that is the nature of the business. Unless your server was rude and absolutely ignored you, then please honor their work with a respectable tip. Also, most restaurants take 3% of a server’s sales to give to a tip pool for the bussers and hostesses. So that 15% tip you left? Only 12% goes into their pockets.
3) Please remember while you are enjoying your day with your mom and/or children, our children and/or moms are enjoying this day with someone else.
In closing, I want to wish all you moms out there a Happy Mother’s Day, especially mine. Til next time, my friends.

Reclaiming Saturdays

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Empty Nest, Parenting, Running, Fitness

I have recently fallen in love with Saturday mornings. Anyone with children knows that Saturdays tend to be as hectic as a weekday. You get up early, maybe do some housecleaning before you run to the grocery store or take the kids to whatever activities they have going on that day. Then, your kids hit the point where they can drive themselves to their activities, but as their mom you are still obligated to attend. However, not too long after that, they reach a point where they no longer have activities for you to attend. At that point, you wake up on a Saturday morning and think, “Wow, I have nothing going on today.” Although I work nights at my part-time job on the weekends, I am currently at that point, and I don’t feel guilty admitting that I’m enjoying it. I wake up on Saturday mornings, go to yoga class, and then go run the causeway spanning across the river. Often, I am rewarded for my efforts with the sight of dolphins playing in the water. Occasionally, after I’ve put in all that hard work burning calories, I’ll stop at the local coffee shop and enjoy what they call an iced heroin (with skim milk AND whipped cream. A girl’s gotta have priorities!) At those moments, I feel so refreshed, in tune with myself, and at peace with the world around me. If your children are currently at a stage in your life where Saturdays are a whirlwind, don’t worry – your time will come. It will happen faster than you could ever imagine, though, so cherish your time with them while you can. For those who are facing those empty Saturdays, use them to find yourself again. Go for a run, take that painting class, or curl up in the hammock and read a book. Above all, don’t feel guilty for being happy to have those moments back to yourself. You deserve them. Namaste.

Lessons from the Dorm

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Parenting, Empty Nest

It has been awhile since my last post. That is because I have been out of state collecting my daughter from college. The whole process of moving your child either in or out of a dorm is sure-fire way to realize the ways she has become an adult…and the ways she has not. I have been reminding my daughter for over a month that she needed to get all of her things packed. Last year, it was a mad dash at the last second. She had waited until finals week to start and was scrambling around trying to finish projects, study for tests, and pack a year’s worth of items in a single week. Not the best plan. This year, I kept telling her that we didn’t want a repeat of last year. She assured me that we wouldn’t. “I’ve got it, Mom.” Famous last words. When I arrived to her dorm this year, she had even less packed than she had last year. On top of that, she owned a lot more to pack than she had last year. So, once again, there was the scramble to get everything done in the allotted time frame. Ultimately, everything was packed, the U-haul cargo van was loaded, and the storage unit was once again filled to the brim. The process was exhausting. However, I had the opportunity to meet her friends and see my daughter in what has become her natural habitat. I listened as she discussed her school and her adventures. I listened as she talked about the ups and downs of living in Michigan. I went with her to see her first apartment – she picked it out and signed the lease. I am amazed and proud that this young woman is my daughter. She is intelligent, capable, and vivacious. Yet, her insecurities and vulnerabilities; her frantic “I need your help” texts; and occasional teary-eyed phone calls also remind me that she is still growing and maturing. I haven’t completely lost my little girl; I have started to gain a cherished friend.