Tag: lifecoach

Every New Beginning…

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Uncategorized

Wow! It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed since the last time I posted here. To say there’s been a lot going on the last four years – both in the world and in my own life – would be quite the understatement.

Just as the world has changed dramatically since 2020, so has my life. I can’t wait to fill you in on it all, but the biggest (and most recent) change is that I left full-time teaching back in November. Professionally, it is definitely the most exciting, yet terrifying, thing that I have done – other than getting into teaching in the first place.

When I made the decision to go into teaching over 20 years ago, I was actually on a path toward being a social worker. Having had a tumultuous adolescence, I wanted to help kids who were also struggling to find their way. While going through undergrad, I worked at a residential therapeutic treatment center for adolescents in the evenings while also being a substitute teacher during the day. (At that time where I lived, you only needed a high school diploma for both positions.) Because I was experienced in supporting struggling students, I often subbed in what was thought to be difficult schools and/or classrooms. I developed relationships with the students, to the point where they would often say they wished I was their “real” teacher. Their words meant something to me, and I started to really consider them. As I did some research, I learned that I could get a special education teaching degree with a focus on teaching students with emotional and behavioral disabilities. I realized this was an even better way to help kids who were struggling because I could maybe make a difference in their lives sooner versus later. Once I made that decision, I spent my summer cramming in four additional classes that I needed so that I could be accepted into the special education program in the fall (after first having to request permission to do so from the program advisor). It was the best career decision I could have made.

I have loved every moment of being a teacher. Don’t get me wrong. There have been so many challenges throughout the years. But I have never regretted making that pivot in college and choosing education. Over the course of my career, I have taught every grade and every subject. I have loved my students and advocated for them as if they were my own. My own children grew up understanding that “my kids” were also a part of the family. To this day, I still remain in contact with many former students, and it warms my heart to see what they’ve accomplished with their adult lives.

It’s for all these reasons and more that making the choice to leave the classroom was one I didn’t make lightly. However, it’s because of the work that I’ve done over the last couple of decades that I understood now was the time to go. I have fought and advocated for my students for years. For them to realize the greatness that lies within, to turn their dreams into goals, and to help them meet their goals. I’ve fought for them to have access and be included versus stigmatized and excluded. I’ve worked to make schools places that are inclusive and welcoming for everyone – regardless of ability, disability, or identity. So much so that I knew I wanted to do the same for them as adults and the workplaces in which they were now a part (figuratively speaking). While schools have done a much better job of being inclusive and supportive over the years, the work world has not. At the same time, navigating adulthood isn’t a walk in the park either, and there is much to be said about the impact having a coach can play in a person’s success.

So, this is why I made the jump. This is why I HAD to make the jump. In a world that is often difficult to navigate and is becoming more divisive on so many levels, I want to be someone who helps adults identify and achieve their goals, creates more inclusive spaces for all, and still fights for students with disabilities by empowering families. As a life coach, disability inclusivity consultant, and special education advocate, I get to do all of these things and more. This new chapter of my life is just as exciting and fulfilling as being a teacher was, but in a whole new way.

Besides, when I start missing “my kids” too much, I just pick up some substitute teaching days and get right back in the classroom to get my fix. While my teaching career has come full circle, my coaching and consulting career has just begun.

www.kfreyconsulting.com

Run Your Race

by Kimberly Frey, posted in Motivational, Running, fitness, Uncategorized
Image result for running images

Over the years, I have consistently stated that running is one of the best analogies for life. A fantastic example of this occurred just this past weekend. About two months before my vacation, I had signed up for a 10k on Saturday and a half-marathon on Sunday. Both of the races were ones that I had done previously and really enjoyed. Also, the 10k had a really awesome long-sleeved technical running shirt and as a runner in the Midwest, I need all the long-sleeved shirts I can get! Anyway, let’s just say that it might not have been one of my smartest ideas. During the month of August, I really did not run as much as I thought I would. Although I had brought my running shoes with me on my trip, I only had a chance to use them once. My itinerary was just too full each day, and let’s be honest, I was walking anywhere from 10-12 miles per day just exploring and really didn’t have the energy for it. Plus, when I returned home, it took me awhile to feel rested and ready to get back into the swing of things. While I had completed a couple of five mile runs here and there over the summer, the last time I ran ten miles was for a race over Memorial Day weekend. Furthermore, I hadn’t even taken into consideration that these races would take place right after the beginning of the school year when I was still adjusting to those 5am wake-up calls. However, despite all these roadblocks, I was determined to complete what I had committed myself to at the beginning of the summer. Over the course of two days and a total of 19.3 miles, these were the thoughts that came to me as related to life and running.

Keep your commitments. I tell people all the time that one of the main ways I help myself stay motivated as a runner is by signing up for races. There is something about the camaraderie and energy about a race that is hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Runners respect each other as runners because they know how hard the work is to get to that starting line. It doesn’t matter if you are a 5-minute miler or a 15-minute miler; it took training and focus to be able to toe the line on race day. So when I sign up for a race, that is a commitment that I know I need to keep. It is a commitment to myself because I’ve invested my money. It is a commitment to others because I almost always talk one of my friends into running the race with me. And it is a commitment to the running community, because anyone who hosts a running event wants to see as many people there as possible. If everyone just paid a race fee and then never showed up, the event would not be considered a success – even though the money had been raised. In life, we need to be just as diligent about keeping our commitments to those around us. Both my biological children and my student children over the years used to get so frustrated when they would ask for permission to do something and I would answer with a, “Maybe.” After awhile, they would all understand that “maybe” usually meant “yes,” and they would call me out for never giving them a straight answer. I would explain to them (and still explain to my students today), that I often said maybe in response to requests because I needed to be ensure that I could honor my word. If I answered a request with a yes, then they could count on it happening. On the other hand, if I answered a request with a no, they understood the answer wouldn’t eventually change to yes. Over time, they grew to appreciate those “maybe” answers a whole lot more!

Stay focused. Anytime I run a race, or if I’m having a hard time on a training run, I choose a marker of some kind up ahead to focus on while I am running. I will tell myself to get to that light pole, park bench, stop sign, etc. It’s amazing how just zeroing in on a specific goal helps me to be able to keep going. When running longer races, I usually break it down in chunks. I don’t think of the 26.2 miles I need to run. I think of the first 5k, and then the second 5k, the third and so on until I cross that finish line. Our lives are the same way. You must find some way to stay focused on some thing in order to not just drift through life aimlessly. It could be that you’re focused on a big picture goal, so you understand you have to break it up into manageable steps in order to create an action plan. Perhaps you are focused on a selected group of small tasks that you just need to get accomplished. Either way, by keeping focused you will achieve your end goals sooner and with less unnecessary frustrations.

Know the rules of the road. At the half-marathon I ran on Sunday, they had pace groups – as is usually the case at longer races. A pace group is a group that has a leader running a certain pace throughout the race. As long as you stay with that group, you should finish in that goal time. When I run longer than a 10k, I actually have to do run/walk intervals due to a previous back injury. So I will run for three minutes and then walk for one. I have trained myself to be able to run fairly even splits with this method; therefore I will often pass/fall behind a pace group with each interval. However, there was one particular pace group where the leader obviously had not explained to them the most important rule of racing and the most important rule of running with a group. Slower runners stay to the right, and when running in a group don’t block the path. This particular group was spread out across the whole trail so that passing them was next to impossible. I would keep getting penned in behind them which was very frustrating and was affecting my ability to pace correctly. While our lives may be governed by a variety of laws that can change depending on who has the power to change them, there is one very basic rule to which we all need to adhere. It is so vital to our overall well-being that almost every type of religion has a version of it. Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. If we all followed this principle in our lives, the world would be a much happier, safer, cleaner place.

Be in the moment. I often tell others that whenever I’m out running, it is a time for me to just be. The world is a loud and busy place. There are so many things pulling us in so many directions. It is quite possible for someone to go through an entire day on autopilot just trying to get things accomplished. When running, that same danger is there. The run is just something we need to complete so we cross it off our list. I’ve caught myself doing both – just getting through a day checking off a to-do list and pushing through a run just because I needed to burn off the pizza I ate last night. However, my running has helped me to really zero in on the right now. As I focus on my breathing, rock out to a great playlist, and take in the world around me, I am reminded to count my blessings and find the stillness within me.

Run your race. I am finishing this list with the very same thought that started this post because it might possibly be the one we all need to remember the most. “Run your race!” is a phrase you will often hear coaches yell out to their runners, especially when a race is particularly close. Every runner needs to focus on what they are doing in their race, not on the runners behind them. How many of us have seen the runner turn around to see how close someone was behind them only to be overtaken or even injured? Some runners have a strong start and are able to maintain a steady pace throughout. Other runners start out at a more even pace but have the ability to kick it in gear in the end. No matter the race, as a runner, you have to focus on you – your training, your strategy, your game plan. And the same is so true of our lives. No matter what others are doing around you, you must stay focused on your race…your goals, your path, your own surroundings. Because even though we are all running a course, we are not running the same course. Some runners may be faster, others will be slower. You might come across an obstacle that wasn’t there for the runners in front of you. However, your race is yours alone. Don’t get caught up on whatever is happening around you. Listen to your coaches and your inner voice while keeping your eyes on the finish line, cause you’ve got this.

Do you want someone to help coach you to your personal finish line? Email me at kimberlyfreyconsulting@gmail.com so we can tackle your life race together!