We are a little over five weeks away from the Chicago Marathon, and I have made it through most of my training. When I last wrote, I was preparing for my first ten mile run. Since then, I’ve completed the majority of my long runs: 10, 13, 14, and 16. I only have an 18 mile and 20 mile run left. Some runs have been better than others, but overall I am making progress, getting stronger, and (hopefully) faster. These changes aren’t just random; they are occurring because I keep running.
In order to be successful in marathon training, I have to keep getting out there and doing the training part. It’s not going to just happen. I have to make the choice to get up, put my running clothes on, head out the door….. and then RUN. If I completed all of the preparation steps but never actually ran, then I would never actually be ready for my race. The running is the hardest part, but it’s the part that is the most necessary. (This is also a very useful life analogy!)
I previously shared that I am working towards a goal of running a new personal best this year. To do so would mean that I would have to run the marathon in less than 4 hours and 57 minutes, my fastest marathon time from sixteen years ago. My last few long runs have been a struggle, and I haven’t been running at the pace needed to hit that goal. With that in mind, I have created a secondary goal of simply being able to finish as close as I can get to, or maybe even slightly under, five hours. While this might not seem like much of an adjustment, it’s just enough to keep me motivated during these last weeks of training and also keeps me close enough to my primary goal that I can keep pushing to maybe still accomplish it.
Throughout this training season, I have been encouraged by the support that has been shown to me. People who know that I am training for the marathon check in on my progress and ask me how things are going. Since I am running this race as a charity fundraiser for Girls in the Game, even more people have also supported those efforts by donating to my fundraising page – many of them complete strangers. Some of you reading this post even received it as part of my thank you email for your support. The kindness is not lost on me, and I have been taking all the positive energy in as marathon day gets closer. Knowing others believe in me makes it easier for me to keep putting one foot in front of the other. If you would like to donate to my efforts and continue with sending the love, you can use this link here. Even if you cannot donate anything, sharing this blog and the link with others and following my journey is a tangible way of showing your support. As a life coach and consultant, my motto is You Can Do It. I Can Help. As a charity runner trying to meet her marathon and fundraising goals, my personal motto is currently…
The last time I wrote, I shared that I was training for my 3rd Chicago marathon. Well, marathon training is ramping up with my first double digits run happening this weekend. I’ve been pushing myself to be consistent in my training in hopes of being able to – if not get a new personal best time – then to at least finish in under five hours. Seeing as the last time I ran a marathon in under five hours was over a decade ago, I know it’s a lofty goal. But, it’s one I’m still willing to work for.
I’ve shared here before that I love how running is truly an excellent analogy for life. We are all running this marathon called life together, and while there are always other factors at play, how well we do primarily depends on how much work we are willing to put in. We all have the same start and will all end up at the same finish. I’m not trying to be metaphorical here. We are all born, and we will all die. What we do with the time we have between those two points will determine how successful we are, just as the training I choose to do (or not do) determines how successful my marathon attempt will be.
As a former varsity cross country and track coach, I used to remind my athletes that they needed to focus on running “their” race. There were always going to be runners who were faster than them, and for some of them having a 1st, 2nd, or even 3rd place finish was not realistic. They needed to keep their own goals in mind as those were the ones that were realistic for them. Now, as a life coach for adults, I use a goal format where one of the tenants are for the goal to be “realistic.” It’s the non-running version of running your own race. While it’s important and necessary for us to aim high, if we consistently create unattainable goals for ourselves we will end up feeling defeated. I have always set high expectations for myself, my former students and athletes, and now my clients, but they have been designed around realistic outcomes. I never set a goal for a brand new runner who could barely run 10 minute miles to cut that time to 4 minute miles by the end of the season, but I would set the goal that they shave it down to 7 or 8 because while it would take hard work on their part, it was still something I knew they could accomplish.
So, I guess I said all that to say this – is running a marathon in under 5 hours a realistic goal for me? At this point and time, I’m saying yes. Now…ask me again a month from now, and we’ll see if my answer has changed. Follow along on my training journey to find out!
Also, I’m running the marathon in support of Girls in the Game, a fantastic organization providing sports programming and more for girls all throughout Chicago. If you’d like to make a donation, please click here for my fundraising page. Every dollar counts, and is fully tax-deductible.
Thank you for your support as both a reader and a donor!
I’m sure no one has to tell you that running a marathon is hard. Even if you have never ran one yourself, have no desire to run one, or aren’t a runner at all, most people generally understand that training for and running in a marathon is a lot of work. If it were easy, everyone would do it right? So it shouldn’t come as too big of a surprise that when I ran the Chicago marathon for the second time back in 2021, I decided that it would be my last marathon until whenever I had the opportunity to run the original course in Greece. I actually told my partner that I was “retiring” from the marathon until that time. However, fast forward to 2024 and here we go again. I am officially running the Chicago marathon for a third time. I would say it’ll be my last, but life has taught me to never say never.
So what caused me to change my mind and return to a summer full of early mornings, long runs, speed workouts, and intense training? My love for Girls in the Game (GitG). GitG is a wonderful organization here in Chicago that provides sports programming for girls throughout the city. Just as we know that kids’ participation in sports is about more than the sport itself, GitG does so much more for girls than just provide sports instruction. The programs they run help girls to build a positive self-esteem and self-worth, develop their leadership and team building skills, and create healthy relationships that will endure.
Because I love GitG’s messages of girl power and overall female empowerment, I joined their Auxiliary Board last year as my way to support their work. So when they were asking for charity runners for this year’s marathon, there really was no way that I could say no (especially since they all knew “I was a runner”). I have ran as a charity partner for a couple of other organizations that I love, but this is the first time that I have ran for an organization where I have a first-hand opportunity to see the ins and outs of what my support means. I have also set a goal for myself to aim for a new personal record (PR) for my marathon time with this attempt, so I am more focused than ever on being true to training and preparation. This makes this fundraising/training cycle even more personal, and my hope is that these efforts pay off both in reaching (exceeding!) my fundraising minimum and achieving a time of 4 hours and 45 minutes in October. I love Girls in the Game, and I love being able to support them in this way. If you want to throw in your support of us both, please consider donating here: https://fundraisers.hakuapp.com/kimberly-frey and subscribe to this blog to get regular updates on my progress.
Over the years, I have consistently stated that running is one of the best analogies for life. A fantastic example of this occurred just this past weekend. About two months before my vacation, I had signed up for a 10k on Saturday and a half-marathon on Sunday. Both of the races were ones that I had done previously and really enjoyed. Also, the 10k had a really awesome long-sleeved technical running shirt and as a runner in the Midwest, I need all the long-sleeved shirts I can get! Anyway, let’s just say that it might not have been one of my smartest ideas. During the month of August, I really did not run as much as I thought I would. Although I had brought my running shoes with me on my trip, I only had a chance to use them once. My itinerary was just too full each day, and let’s be honest, I was walking anywhere from 10-12 miles per day just exploring and really didn’t have the energy for it. Plus, when I returned home, it took me awhile to feel rested and ready to get back into the swing of things. While I had completed a couple of five mile runs here and there over the summer, the last time I ran ten miles was for a race over Memorial Day weekend. Furthermore, I hadn’t even taken into consideration that these races would take place right after the beginning of the school year when I was still adjusting to those 5am wake-up calls. However, despite all these roadblocks, I was determined to complete what I had committed myself to at the beginning of the summer. Over the course of two days and a total of 19.3 miles, these were the thoughts that came to me as related to life and running.
Keep your commitments. I tell people all the time that one of the main ways I help myself stay motivated as a runner is by signing up for races. There is something about the camaraderie and energy about a race that is hard to describe unless you’ve experienced it yourself. Runners respect each other as runners because they know how hard the work is to get to that starting line. It doesn’t matter if you are a 5-minute miler or a 15-minute miler; it took training and focus to be able to toe the line on race day. So when I sign up for a race, that is a commitment that I know I need to keep. It is a commitment to myself because I’ve invested my money. It is a commitment to others because I almost always talk one of my friends into running the race with me. And it is a commitment to the running community, because anyone who hosts a running event wants to see as many people there as possible. If everyone just paid a race fee and then never showed up, the event would not be considered a success – even though the money had been raised. In life, we need to be just as diligent about keeping our commitments to those around us. Both my biological children and my student children over the years used to get so frustrated when they would ask for permission to do something and I would answer with a, “Maybe.” After awhile, they would all understand that “maybe” usually meant “yes,” and they would call me out for never giving them a straight answer. I would explain to them (and still explain to my students today), that I often said maybe in response to requests because I needed to be ensure that I could honor my word. If I answered a request with a yes, then they could count on it happening. On the other hand, if I answered a request with a no, they understood the answer wouldn’t eventually change to yes. Over time, they grew to appreciate those “maybe” answers a whole lot more!
Stay focused. Anytime I run a race, or if I’m having a hard time on a training run, I choose a marker of some kind up ahead to focus on while I am running. I will tell myself to get to that light pole, park bench, stop sign, etc. It’s amazing how just zeroing in on a specific goal helps me to be able to keep going. When running longer races, I usually break it down in chunks. I don’t think of the 26.2 miles I need to run. I think of the first 5k, and then the second 5k, the third and so on until I cross that finish line. Our lives are the same way. You must find some way to stay focused on some thing in order to not just drift through life aimlessly. It could be that you’re focused on a big picture goal, so you understand you have to break it up into manageable steps in order to create an action plan. Perhaps you are focused on a selected group of small tasks that you just need to get accomplished. Either way, by keeping focused you will achieve your end goals sooner and with less unnecessary frustrations.
Know the rules of the road. At the half-marathon I ran on Sunday, they had pace groups – as is usually the case at longer races. A pace group is a group that has a leader running a certain pace throughout the race. As long as you stay with that group, you should finish in that goal time. When I run longer than a 10k, I actually have to do run/walk intervals due to a previous back injury. So I will run for three minutes and then walk for one. I have trained myself to be able to run fairly even splits with this method; therefore I will often pass/fall behind a pace group with each interval. However, there was one particular pace group where the leader obviously had not explained to them the most important rule of racing and the most important rule of running with a group. Slower runners stay to the right, and when running in a group don’t block the path. This particular group was spread out across the whole trail so that passing them was next to impossible. I would keep getting penned in behind them which was very frustrating and was affecting my ability to pace correctly. While our lives may be governed by a variety of laws that can change depending on who has the power to change them, there is one very basic rule to which we all need to adhere. It is so vital to our overall well-being that almost every type of religion has a version of it. Treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. If we all followed this principle in our lives, the world would be a much happier, safer, cleaner place.
Be in the moment. I often tell others that whenever I’m out running, it is a time for me to just be. The world is a loud and busy place. There are so many things pulling us in so many directions. It is quite possible for someone to go through an entire day on autopilot just trying to get things accomplished. When running, that same danger is there. The run is just something we need to complete so we cross it off our list. I’ve caught myself doing both – just getting through a day checking off a to-do list and pushing through a run just because I needed to burn off the pizza I ate last night. However, my running has helped me to really zero in on the right now. As I focus on my breathing, rock out to a great playlist, and take in the world around me, I am reminded to count my blessings and find the stillness within me.
Run your race. I am finishing this list with the very same thought that started this post because it might possibly be the one we all need to remember the most. “Run your race!” is a phrase you will often hear coaches yell out to their runners, especially when a race is particularly close. Every runner needs to focus on what they are doing in their race, not on the runners behind them. How many of us have seen the runner turn around to see how close someone was behind them only to be overtaken or even injured? Some runners have a strong start and are able to maintain a steady pace throughout. Other runners start out at a more even pace but have the ability to kick it in gear in the end. No matter the race, as a runner, you have to focus on you – your training, your strategy, your game plan. And the same is so true of our lives. No matter what others are doing around you, you must stay focused on your race…your goals, your path, your own surroundings. Because even though we are all running a course, we are not running the same course. Some runners may be faster, others will be slower. You might come across an obstacle that wasn’t there for the runners in front of you. However, your race is yours alone. Don’t get caught up on whatever is happening around you. Listen to your coaches and your inner voice while keeping your eyes on the finish line, cause you’ve got this.
Do you want someone to help coach you to your personal finish line? Email me at kimberlyfreyconsulting@gmail.com so we can tackle your life race together!
When I last wrote to you all, I had presented my summer “to-do” list. This being only the second time in my teaching career where I have a full summer break, I was purposeful at the beginning to make sure I would be using this time wisely. Fast forward three weeks, and the status update is as follows:
Half-marathon training: I have been running more consistently than I have in probably a year. In addition to my running, I have been going to yoga and other workouts designed to help me build my strength and speed as a runner. My pace is still slower than I would like it to be, but as I focus on more speed workouts in the upcoming months, I am hoping that will improve.
Organizing/Cleaning my apartment: I am happy to report that I have made quite a bit of progress in this area! When I look around my apartment, I can see the areas where there has been improvement. Alas, I can also see the many areas where I need to get it in gear, especially since I essentially only have two weeks to finish up these projects before I return to work.
Focusing on writing: At the beginning of this summer, I set an ambitious goal to write a new post for both of my blogs at least once weekly. Well, that hasn’t quite happened, although in addition to writing for my other blog, I did also get quite a bit of journaling done. Next week I will be leaving for my vacation. I am bringing my laptop and plan on blogging about all my adventures, as this will be a first-time experience for me and many of my friends have asked for me to share my stories.
Getting ready for my trip: I feel that this is where I have made the most progress. I did not realize how time-consuming planning a solo two-week European vacation would be. Not only did I book all my Air BnBs, but I have also researched and booked all of my tours, excursions, experiences, etc. While this has taken quite a bit of my time since I last wrote you, it has been very fulfilling. I am so excited for my trip and can’t believe that I will be heading out in only eight days!
Preparing for my new website launch: This is probably the area where I have made the least progress, which is ironic because it is definitely the one I thought I would most focus on when this summer began. However, I still have some time to be more productive in this area and have made sure to include it in my schedule to ensure that I do just that.
I feel that going through this list, the wins/losses columns are pretty even at this point. Because of some work commitments that I have going on next week, I will only have two or three days before my trip to devote to anything. Upon return from my trip, I will have one week of vacation left before returning to work. I understand that it’s crunch time, which is why I am sitting in a coffee shop on a beautiful summer day writing to all of you and creating new content for my website. Thank you for supporting me as I focus on achieving my goals. Feel free to comment/share what you are currently focusing on so I can return the favor!
2018 was a year full of fantastic high points and absolutely devastating low ones. I know people often write their reflections on the previous year sometime in January, but I have only recently returned to blogging, so I missed the boat then. However, there are things about last year I need to share in order to fully write about the present or begin to look towards the future.
Tomorrow I am running the Chicago Shamrock Shuffle for the 6th year in a row. I love this race, and it is often the official start of racing/running season for me. Last year I almost didn’t participate in this event though, because approximately six weeks prior, on the day after Super Bowl Sunday, I was rushed to the emergency room with excruciating pain. I could barely swallow or speak. I thought it was a lymph node infection or something like that, but I didn’t believe it was anything dangerous. Boy, was I wrong! The speed and efficiency at which the hospital staff moved once they determined the danger I was in was impressive. Long story short, the infection had caused swelling which in turn had caused my airway to become constricted. I had to have an emergency tracheotomy performed in order to save my life and a complex surgery to get rid of the infection. It was the scariest health situation I have ever been in, but ultimately – I. Am. Here.
Last year I was cleared to run this race only a couple of weeks prior to the event. I didn’t care though. I was just ecstatic to be out there. I actually cried a little as I ran around the last bend before the finish line because I was so grateful to still be alive, much less running. This year, I’m trying to set a new personal record on this course as a testament to still being alive and a tribute to those who have gone on before me. Every day is such a gift. Let us use those gifts wisely as we shuffle on.
‘Cause everything you thought would last forever
Never lasts forever like you plan
Don’t let your now become another
So take life by the hands while you still can – Brothers Osborne
I must admit – since the last time I actually wrote, there have been many times when I’ve started a new blog post in my mind (usually while running or when reading something interesting while on my commute to work). Unfortunately, I didn’t sit and actually write them. That is definitely something I am going to work on improving over the course of this year. The whole reason I started this blog is because I have a lot to say, but it doesn’t do much good if I don’t actually take the time to say it.
Having gotten that off my chest, there is so much going on right now. Winter is fading, spring break is four days away (along with a trip to Florida), my son is officially living here (and just got a job!), I’m running strong again (outside!)…the list could go on. It’s hard to believe I’ve already been back in the city for almost nine months. Every day, I wake up at peace with my decision to move up here- even though I miss my Florida friends and family dearly. I still haven’t met a lot of people outside of my co-workers, but with the weather warming up, I’m looking forward to being out and about in the city and having more opportunities to strike up friendships. While my work is emotionally exhausting at times, I love my students and the adults who work alongside me. I am loving my life and want to help others do the same. So excuse me for being all over the place with this post. I promise I’ll be more on-topic in the future, or at least stick to one topic. For now, to borrow from my absolute favorite band yet again – “Celebrate we will, because life is sweet but short for certain.” (Dave Matthews Band for those who aren’t in the know)
Yesterday I had the privilege to run in my first race since moving to the city seven months ago. It was unique in that it was a single loop course, completely indoors. Yep, you read that right. Inside. It was held inside McCormick Place Convention Center. Although it might not have been the most scenic course, it sure felt good to be out there again. Since this is my first winter as a runner, I don’t have a lot of cold weather running gear (although I’m starting to build up a collection). Plus, this has been the coldest winter in Chicago since…. Well…. Right before I moved to Florida. Apparently, this polar vortex is all my fault. Anyway, I’ve spent the majority of the winter running indoors (ugh!) on an elliptical (double ugh!). Since I’ve been focusing on getting my back strong and healthy again, I’ve been using the elliptical for cardio to lessen the impact on my body. I can say that it’s paid off. I ran the whole course without the run/walk intervals I had been using the last couple of years. I actually completed the course with a much better time than I thought I would. Of course, I also finished the course thinking about what I could’ve done differently to be just a little bit faster. And that’s why I love this sport. It pushes me to be better and not just physically. It forces me to not be complacent. It stretches me to reach my full potential. It encourages me to be the best me possible. Run on, my friends.
I believe that I have established the fact that I am passionate about running. It is an integral part of who I am. So, when I am not able to run, I do not feel like I am myself. And in the middle of all the turmoil in my life right now, not being able to run is driving me batty.
I have always had issues with my back since being injured in a severe car accident at the age of 15. Every once in awhile, it would act up more than others. I would visit a chiropractor, have some adjustments, and then everything would return to normal. Several years ago, my lower back started causing me even more difficulty. It would start to “go” more often. There are two specific incidents I can remember that foreshadowed the current conditions wherein I now find myself. The first was when I was rolling my compact refrigerator from my regular classroom to the room where I would be teaching summer school. There was a slight step up from the hall into the class. I went to lift the cart up slightly and felt a sharp pain in my lower back. It shot up my back and down my leg, but after stretching for a bit (once I recovered from the pain), it seemed to be okay. Then, right before New Year’s Eve a few years ago, I went to get out of bed and felt a pop. At the same time, pain shot from my lower back all through my body. I was unable to move. Thank God I had my phone right next to me. I texted my daughter, who was across the house in her room. I still remember how the color drained out of her face when she walked in my room and saw the pain I was in. It took almost 45 minutes to get me from the bed to the car. Then, the first walk-in clinic I went to wasn’t that helpful. I then spent the next few weeks going to the chiropractor three times per week getting my back fixed. However, I never visited a medical doctor, and that was probably a costly error on my part.
Fast forward to 2011. In October of that year, I ran the Atlanta Marathon. Somehow, the fact that Atlanta was so hilly had escaped me during all my training. I don’t like looking at course maps in too much detail because I don’t want my mind to start envisioning worst-case scenarios. I don’t pay too much attention to the elevation because I’m going to run the course anyway so why freak myself out? However, up until that point, I had ran (mostly) only flat courses. I had driven through Atlanta, but had never walked through the city. So I had no frame of reference for this race. It was 26.2 miles of grueling hills. I remember how disappointed I was at the finish because I didn’t set a new PR. Little did I know that that should’ve been the least of my worries.
After the race, I took off a couple of weeks to rest. Yet, once I started running again, something wasn’t right. I felt achy, but different from the normal, “I just ran a marathon,” achy. My running was sporadic at best, even though I had an upcoming half-marathon. Although I knew I didn’t train properly for that race, it was my favorite course, I had already registered, so I was running it anyway. Probably not the best decision. At the end of that race, I fell to the ground in such pain I knew I had to give in and go to the doctor.
Long story short, I eventually found out that I had two “severely ruptured” discs in my spine: my L5 and S1. My running, and all other physical activity, came to a screeching halt. I went through physical therapy and epidural injections. After what seemed like an eternity, I was cleared to “run” again. I had to start with strict walking and work my way up, just like I do with brand new runners that join my cross country team. I also started going to yoga as soon as I was cleared by my sports doctor. At this point, I have been running fairly consistently for almost a year, but not without setbacks. When they occur, I try to keep perspective, but sometimes it’s hard. Right now, my back seems to be hurting more than usual. The pain that runs down my right leg has been acting up quite a bit. So, I have tried to be smart and not force anything, but it’s hard. With everything in chaos around me, I yearn for the open road. Yet, since I want to run for the rest of my life, I will be patient, rest, stretch, and take care of my body. Therefore, if you are a runner, count your blessings and go run one for me today.
Yesterday was the first time I went for a run since the day that time stood still. There was a part of me that felt that it was too soon. I felt I was being selfish for wanting this time for myself when there was so much to do and people who need me. However, running has always been my therapy. Anytime my heart has been broken, I have taken solace in my running. It comforts me, strengthens me, and helps me feel there are still areas in my life of which I have control. So, I laced up my shoes and hit the road. The first mile was hard. I reminisced, I cried, I struggled to put one foot in front of the other. As I kept running, the messages that my “dad” preached over the years started to fill my head. Messages about running a good race, pressing on despite the circumstances, being strong in the face of adversity, trusting God in all things, hard work, sacrifice, and the like. The more I ran, the more I realized and believed that this run was my best way of honoring him. For this is exactly what he would want for me and everyone else affected by his death. He would want us to press on, to keep dreaming, setting goals, and working to achieve them. That is the truth for anyone who has lost a loved one. Yes, we mourn, and yes we are broken-hearted. But we are still alive. And we must carry on. That is how we pay tribute to our loved ones who have passed on and strengthen our spirits.
Words from the Long Run 